Inevitably - A Post on Singleness
Yesterday our staff took time to lay hands on and pray for one of my young coworkers who is getting married this weekend. It was a very sweet time of asking on behalf of our friend for peace in the midst of last details, an ability to give his heart and best attention to his bride and not to the myriad of friends and family descending from all over the world, for a memorable celebration and a strong marriage. As we were drawing to a close, my friend (and boss) prayed, "Lord I ask that one day we will sit and pray these very things for M. K. and Melinda" (another single coworker.) It made me smile. Perhaps there are those who (still) pray things like this for me, but I never hear it. It might surprise some to know I still pray it for myself!
At age 48 what was once an agonizing longing has been replaced by a simple lingering hope. Hope that God might yet bring a husband to journey alongside me. (Although the journey is getter shorter all the time!) When I was younger, I used to think that being content meant that I had to get to the place where I no longer wanted to get married. Maybe that it even meant I had to prefer singleness over marriage. Over time I think I have learned that being content means that my hope is firmly set on God Himself, not a man or the idea of a man. I believe contentment even allows me to grieve from time to time that I have no human companion who knows the stories of my life. No one who carries the funny moments or special memories with me from one life season to the next, from one geographical location to the next. Some of my loneliest moments are when I am reminded of a place or person and there's no one I can turn to and say, "Remember when. . ." Because no one does. In those moments I have to remind myself that, "My Maker is my husband. He delights in me. He is strong and loving and gives me everything I need. My future is safe with him." (Isaiah 54:5, 62:4, Psalm 62:11, 16:5)
posted by M.K. Lindsey @ 7:13 AM
8 comments
8 Comments:
This is entirely selfish in my part but I'm thankful to have your "model" of singleness as I walk through it myself. I remember hearing a younger gal say once that she felt that singleness wasn't all that scary anymore because she had had some good models in her life. I echo her sentiments as I have watched you -- open, hopeful longing and yet surrendered to the Lord and His good plans for you. Thanks for living that out before me and many others, M.K.
And, you know me. I'm always on the look out for older, handsome men I can send your way. ;-) Heck, who even says they have to be older...hee hee hee
You have a wonderful staff! I am sure the wedding was very great. I was thinking the other day about your old boss (B) who had these prayers for you as well.
I like your perspective on it. I think it is impossible to fully let go of the hope, if so it seems as if it is some kind of death to who we were made to be. I feel ok about being single most of the time but then there are those moments that take you by suprise and they can be brutal.
There are a lot of people hoping and praying for you girl. I hope it comes soon! That is an interesting though about wanting someone to have those shared memories with you. It will be an amazing celebration when it is your day.
It is comforting to know that God does always see the stories unfolding and he understands which things we hold so dearly and can share in our rememberance of them.
I still pray that for you!
You wrote: Some of my loneliest moments are when I am reminded of a place or person and there's no one I can turn to and say, "Remember when..."
You never reminisce with friends ? Let's hope you don't end up with a forgetful husband, eh? Cause then you ask him the question and he says, "Uhhh nope." you'll still be disappointed that you have nobody to share that moment with. Oh wait, you could share it with his forgetful behind anyway, right ? And maybe you could do that with a friend now ? Share your fond memories with a friend. Man, I must be totally out-to-lunch.
Why do we make life so much harder by buying into the nagative?
Thanks for putting words to some of thos really deep longings. It is helpful to see those written and be able to identify!
You put words to the journey. Thank you for walking a little ahead of me. I never encounter your life without being deeply encouraged. I agree about the lack of someone who shares the memory. I think we long for someone to be a witness to our lives. Someone to see and remember the little moments, as well as the big ones. A significant portion of the time, my singleness struggle is not about romance, but about wanting to journey with someone.
Hey, Melody
Nice post. Good to see the hope woven throughout. I like the connection you made between hope and contentment.
M.K. I will travel great lengths if need be to celebrate with you when you find that person to share life with!! I am hopeful for you as well. love you, friend!
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